Just felt like posting some pictures of Miss Peh

Go swallow some cyanide and put a charged particle gun to your head

Chemistry common test yesterday was horrible. Ever have one of those exam moments when you're almost afraid, maybe even embarrassed to write your name on your script, for fear of associating yourself with it? Yeah, I know how that feels. Totally forgot about nitrogen compounds when I was studying. The cyanide literally killed me.

I was pretty resigned to flunking Physics today, cuz I did negligible amounts of work for that. I was flicking through radioactivity last night, but by the time of the paper, the only thing I could remember was that Half-life was a good game. But the thing that really kills me was that the paper was actually... easy! It was, there were no trick questions for at least 3/4 of the paper. It was like they wanted you to have the marks. It's like they deliberately made it easy.

And that's when it hit me; it's a conspiracy! Easy papers have a better effect on students, especially slackers. Slackers who don't study take comfort in their resignation to failure, and they expect to not be able to do much in a paper with a rather standard difficulty. They may be even comforted to see the really tricky questions, and with an "I-would'nt've-figured-that-out-anyway" attitude, they'll hope that everyone else fared as badly for those questions as they did. With easy papers, however, these smug people will be kicking themselves all day for not studying. You'll hear stuff like "That was a free mark! I would've got that one if I studied..." and then the guilt of not studying really sinks in.

After Physics today, went to TM with the class guys to watch Scary Movie 4. Spoiler warning, highlight to reveal:

I must say that that movie had an unusually high number of prerequisites, apart from being 16. You have to:

1. Have an American sense of humour (doesn't hurt to be lame)
2. Be up to date with movies, especially War Of The Worlds, Saw, Million Dollar Baby, The American Ring, as I like to call it, and the previous Scary Movies
3. Know your basics in American culture, like who Dr. Phil and Oprah Winfrey are and about Tom Cruise's couch-jumping incident on Oprah.

I could tell that a lot of people were lost at the first part when Dr. Phil was talking about himself, and they only got the "Wrong foot" part. The movie really makes a point: all Dr. Phil seems to be doing is telling people to get a grip. Hell, I could do that. And the last part, too, when James Earl Jones was hit by a bus mid-sentence. That's a recurring joke from the first Scary Movie. Damn, I thought Brenda was dead from the first movie (Cindy and Brenda are recurring characters from the first SM) I thought Cindy was the only main character to survive. Brenda's less annoying now, thank God. People that have seen the first SM would appreciate this one and brush off the sometimes overexcessive "trying-too-hard-to-be-funny"ness as a..... "glitch" in the series.

I would like to thank Cheryl and Emmanuel for spoiling a significant portion of the jokes for me last Sunday. Except for the tripod tentacle humping the vacuum cleaner part, I wouldn't've laughed anyway. Was it a coincidence that Doofy was, in a sense, humping his vacuum cleaner in the first SM? Hmmm...

Lol

Trying to start my studying engine now. Still need greasing.

Conspiracy Theories

Today at lunch with a few TC people we were randomly chatting (Scary Movie 4 kept coming up) and then we started talking about Mel's plate of chicken rice. Emmanuel said her plate looked like those kid's plates where you have partitions on the plate. I said her chicken rice soup was in fact alphabet soup, which she would later try to arrange alphabetically. Big Joe had something more serious to say; that the chicken rice from that stall was unsafe. One of his friends ate from that stall, and later that day, he got hit by a car.

Someone who was a little slow on the uptake said "Eh I don't see the link leh..."

Lol trust Joe to unravel the conspiracy behind TM Food Court chicken rice.

Which reminds me... was watching Bulletproof Monk just now. The monk raised a very good question: Why do hot dogs come in packs of ten, while hot dog buns come in packs of eight? At the end of the movie, the answer was that life doesn't always turn out the way you want it to, so just go with it, so you can have your hot dogs, or something like that.

I had a different theory. It's a conspiracy!

The real reason why hot dogs come in tens and the buns in eight is it is part of a clever, subversive marketing tactic. You see, a significant number of people think in one direction only; in order to make hot dogs, you have to have an equal number of hot dogs and hot dog buns. So when these people go shopping for hot dog ingredients and encounter this predicament of unmatching quantities, they'll be forced to buy four packs of hot dogs and 5 packs of hot dog buns to make it 40 hot dogs and hot dog buns, instead of just one pack each if there were an equal number of hot dogs and hot dog buns per pack.

This marketing strategy, however, does not work on people who can think laterally, and are hence able to find alternate means of consumption of the remaining two hot dogs, like eat it plain, or in a slice of bread, or give them to your dog. Hell, this is Singapore; you can find hot dogs in the weirdest of places, like in mee goreng. Weird mix, I always felt.

If I ever come across more conspiracy theories, I'll post them here. I might make another series out of this!

Pwnage Quotes 8

Something that was posted in the dumpalink forums that I found rather amusing. It's a flow of posts by different people and, typical of the dumpalink forums, it's totally unrelated to the thread topic (a video of an apparent massaging machine)

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I'm sorry if my anti-american comments have offended anyone. I don't really hate americans. You see it all started with my childhood........ When I was just a little boy, the mean dirty filthy stinky nazis came and we fought them..... we fought them everywhere..... at the rivers......on the mountains... in our mother's and wives bedrooms....everywhere! They were too strong for us, and then they STOLE ALL OUR BIKES!!!!!! Then the big strong handsome brave American Soldiers came with their big penises CAME and BEAT THE STINKY FILTHY NAZIS AND SAVED ALL OF EUROPE!!!!! Except for one poor little boy, a little boy whose mother was raped by the Germans and pimped out by the Americans. For you see, THAT LITTLE BOY NEVER GOT HIS BIKE BACK!!!! Big strong handsome brave Americans had time to fight war on 4 continents, but could not find one little bike?????????? Damn them, damn them all!!!!!!!!!!!!

Til this day I have not forgiven the Americans for not finding my bike, and turning my mom out......but, mostly for not finding my bike!!!!!!

I know there are little boys right now in Iraq who have lost thier bikes, and felt just like I did. So, thier anger lives through me as I spend countless hours on dumpalink.com tryin to make this world a better place WHERE ALL THE LITTLE STINGS CAN RIDE THIER BIKES IN GLORIOUS PEACE AND HARMONY!!!!!!!

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i feel for you sting i too lost my bike, wasnt in a war but it got stolen by some xxxxgot, but then i found a new mode of transportation its called walking.

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I have Sting's bike right now and yes Im a American. But if you would like to have Sting's bike. Its for sale on E-bay right now to the highest bidder.

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sting, STFU

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And the original poster's reply:

monkey boy sting sorry for all my evil pleze people of world not hate boy sting i hurt my brain with wank-wank now want saveness for me no hate me i sorry for my bad boy pull peeny all time no can help fault with self see self as scum mom hate little stink for poo play i better now new stink love all not bad no more i go brush remaining tooth and go be good little weenis boy for mum no hate poor sting now.

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talk about dead brain cells lol

Random Thoughts 9

God created Paradise in seven days.

The only mistake He made was that He gave it to us.

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Sometimes I wish SWAT 4 was a little less fast paced. Then I would have time to say stuff like "SAY HELLO TO MY LEETLE FREN" *pumps civillian full of lead*

Does anyone know where I can rent or find Scarface? The Al Pacino version, please.

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I wish Edwin would return me my Nightlife. I'm getting kinda irritated right now.

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I just licked a candy wrapper that was smeared in nail polish. Bleeargh.

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My living room is clean! Now as soon as I clear my room I can invite people over again. We can watch the World Cup and play F.E.A.R at 3 in the morning. Heh heh...

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Studying's been lousy lately. Didn't do much, and recently I've had too much to think about.

Went for Miss Peh's wake yesterday. Ever had those moments when you feel you should be crying but just can't? Weird thing is I start tearing when I yawn. Some sort of weird way that my body's wired up I guess. Kinda regret not visiting her again when I said I would; felt the same way about Auntie Elsie. Seems that I really do a lot of things I know I'll end up regretting later, like how I'm lazing in front of the com instead of studying, how I didn't approach her when I had the chance, if I EVER had the chance.... I wonder if I'll grow up like Michael Corleone; live out the last bits of my life alone and with a broken will, my last thoughts being all the things I regretted in my life. Hmmmm....

Well that means I'll retire rich. In Sicily! w00t

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Just heard this funny thing over the radio just now. A DJ was interviewing Sven-Goran Eriksson, but it's not really him, and they used voice-overs from Gollum.

When asked what he had to say to his team after their mediocre performance so far:

Sven: "Wake up! Wake up, sillies!"

lol I love how Gollum says things like sillies and eyses.

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Nobody appreciates the Ex-(NS)Men podcast from Mr. Brown. It's really funny if you're familiar with NS culture, which none of the people I hang with are, save for a few NCC and NS guys.

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Hehe SWAT 4 is kinda fun. "Get down on the floor or I'll shoot you with a bean bag gun!" It's so spastic that you HAVE to cuff everyone on the scene, even innocents, cuz you have to be sure and cuz it's protocol. Some civillians are so terrified that there are people pointing guns at them that they don't hear the "Get down on the floor!" you just yelled. Then you have to pop them with a bean bag gun or a pepper ball gun.

Lol police brutality!

It's always the people that don't deserve it

It's not fair. She didn't deserve it. The're so many other rotten people in this world, why her? She was too young, and she wasn't married. It wasn't her time, she didn't have to go. She was doing well, why'd she leave?

Providence is dead. God doesn't intervene no matter how much you pray, no matter how good she was, no matter how many lives she touched. If he wanted to, He could've made her better but he did nothing. I don't wanna blame him for it, but I can't help but see that He could've done something and He didn't. What's His reason for this? What's His explanation? Why couldn't things turn out better? Right from day one this wasn't what she deserved, and no matter what we said or felt, no matter how much I prayed, it still happened. What good can come from this? I know He has a reason for this, but what would that be? What on earth could justify this?

Why don't I feel anything? I'm shaking, but I don't feel anything else. Is that how I am? I'll have to see her with my own eyes for it to sink in. I promised her many times we'd see her again, and then I clean forgot. Why didn't I do anything sooner? I always take His power for granted. I always think they'll be okie in the end, it's no big deal. They'll be fine, He won't let anything happen. That's how I lost two others, and now it's happened again.

Why would He let this happen? How on earth did she deserve this? She touched so many lives, gave so many people hope, so why does it have to be like that? Why does it have to be now?

As I'm typing this, I'm still hoping that this was all one mean trick, that Kit was just razzing me, that everyone's gonna laugh at me for posting this, that she's gonna laugh at it when we see her again and they tell her about this.

Shit I can't type anymore

Typed-out Quiz

A quiz Cheryl set me up to do. Weird thing is I actually felt like doing this, and then I happened to see my name there.

Stupid blog can't copy and paste... have to type everything out.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"Lymon, you mind hanging around a few minutes?" Beaumont said.
(Two Trains Running by Andrew Vachss)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
Oww.

3. What's the last thing you watched on TV?
Global Picnic. Andrea De Cruz is hot.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
2040. It's hard to do that when there's a clock at the bottom right corner of my screen.

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
2048.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
My keyboard, the air con and Kim's griping.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Service Learning at the YMCA Childcare Centre near East Spring Sec. Brats.

8. Before you started this survey, what were you looking at?
Cheryl's blog. Which was where I got this.

9. What are you wearing?
Whoa. Slow down, honey, we're not at that stage yet.

Just kidding. My FBI T shirt and BV PE shorts.

10. Did you dream last night?
Yeah. It was about something rather mundane. Forgot what. Think it was about buying Norma Jean T shirts.

11. When did you last laugh?
Earlier today, at the joke we played on Babi and CTK

12. What is on the walls of the room you're in?
Posters. A lot of them.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Yeah. Joakim got through.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Joakim got through!

15. What was the last film you saw?
The Da Vinci Code. Alright.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Her?
Or maybe Hitman: Blood Money and Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter
Or maybe my way through university.
Or maybe myself out of NS if the law was different.
Or maybe her.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I love the geek in pink!

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
...nah, won't say. It's too mean.

19. Do you like to dance?
About as much as I'd love to learn how to.

20. George Bush:
Is a nuculear head hailing from the largest state in America: California. Yup, next to them, Texas is like a booger.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Emma, if there are no objections. I also used to think Cheryl was a nice name, but that was until I met all the Cheryls I know now.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Michael, if there are no objections. I also used to think Joseph was a nice name. Still do.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
If my prospects there are higher, then I wouldn't mind. Just lemme go with someone I know.

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the Pearly Gates?
"I forgive you."

I wouldn't mind a "Finally! We've set aside a nice villa for you and your friends! Everyone from TC's waiting for you, quick! Would you like a vodka lime?"

But I think that's asking for too much.

25. 4 people who must also do this in THEIR journal:
Since the only person who does any questionaire I send her was the one that asked me to do this, I'll leave this open to anyone.

"Wait, this has no tur kwa in it." "Yah what, is fishball noodle got no tur kwa what." "But I said I wanted tur kwa." "No, you didn't." "Yes, I did."

Now that my com has suddenly decided to start working again after a brief scare of no internet connectivity last night, think I'd better catch up on blogging.

Monday to Thursday was ODAC LTC, and it was fun, and somewhat slack for us (the J2 non-exco members). First day was all the admin stuff, then off to Ubin for land expedition, no part of which came from my proposal. Seems that after Nordin rejected my proposal entirely without batting an eye or flicking through it, Clarence denied having anything to do with it, although he was the one who wanted an urban expedition this year, and then went on to create his own Ubin proposal with his lapdog Mingsong. I couldn't have much part in that either cuz a lot of discussions, plannings and preparations were held during inconvenient times for me. Anyway, we went to Ubin and set the J1s and their group leaders (bless them) on their way, and then Alex, Veron, ZH and me went for cards. Went to eat with Becca and Ying Ying as well (no hor fun). The whole day was spent playing cards, delivering water and marking checkpoints with lightsticks when it got dark. Moved everything to the jetty when it threatened to rain. Hanging out there was fun, and when we had nothing to do, we played card games and the Suaku Game (Jamie kept winning) all night long. And we had fun stealing flags and first aid kits from the teams.

I realised that when I'm sleeping on a hard surface (like the jetty floor) I tend to put my hands one on top of the other on my chest, like a body in a coffin. Alex said I looked like a dead man.

Next day was sea expedition from Changi SSC to Pasir Ris SSC. Not very far. Nordin was a real chee bye kia that day. He refused to let Zilin sit the sea ex out, even though she was only asleep for 1 1/2 hours that night as she was the only one keeping guard over the sleeping J1s from dogs. None of us were happy with him for that, especially since he himself said he would help to keep watch. And because of the weather, they suddenly changed the number of single seater kayaks from six to four, so I had to take a kayak with Volup (not real name) one of the J1 girls. Meng Wee then proceeded to seize every subsequent opportunity to take the mickey out of me. I didn't bring rations with me, so a few others like Chong Xun and Cindy were kind enough to share theirs with me. It's the school's money, anyway. During the stopover at Pasir Ris, Wipes asked me to take his single kayak, cuz he got tired of having to stay up front as expedition leader. So now he got the double kayak with Volup, and MW and I thought we saw a smile on his face. I took over Zhi Hui as last man and I understood what he meant by sian.

Paddle. Stop. Paddle. Stop. Watch the laggers go past. Paddle. Stop.

After the sea ex, went home briefly for a very welcome bath, then back to school to help with building the Stamimania structures, which the J1s had to tackle the next day. That night wasn't much, just a lot of scolding. We saw a side of Wipes we never knew existed. He can actually be really fierce. I shook his hand later. We all did. And yet he still comes off likable, cuz he can be a clown sometimes.

Slept in the ODAC room that night. Don't even notice the ropey smell now. Clarence sprawled over the couch at the first instant, so I curled up in one of the lounge chairs. Weird.

Next day was Stamimania. Did the Temple Pole, helped to rig harnesses and all that shit. Afternoon was games. Alex, Zhi Hui and I did the Dirty Slope. Really really fun. Had to leave halfway, quick shower, then off to church for the Welcome PnW. Only one new member showed up. Pathetic. So we sang and we shared and we played the guitars. The new guy, Gabriel, mixed rather well with our group. We more or less agreed that Timothy shouldn't be allowed near the guitars (especially the bass) if we ever used the Music Room on subsequent occasions.

Rushed back to school. Apparently I missed Nordin coming through with his promise of buying all the J2s bubble tea, cuz that was what everyone was drinking. I was mildly surprised cuz they didn't need recorded evidence of the promise (which was in my phone) to convince him. Maybe they had another source, I dunno. Campfire that night was fun. It was raining so they improvised by shifting it to the audi carpark and made a small campfire out of tealights. Really lame night. Caught a really good shot of Clarence and May's bread kiss, just at the flash from Yue Zhi's cam went on. w00t! The non-exco had a rather hushed bitching session that night while the exco were doing the interviews. Slept in E105 that night, on a bed made of desks. Not bad.

Last day was pioneering, so the rest of us didn't have much to do. Played blackjack with Jon, Zhe Wei and later Clarence, but we bet pushups instead of money (standard bet was 5 pushups). Did more than a hundred that day. I dunno why but for most of the day I was really shagged. Slept in the ODAC room for a while. When I woke up they were doing some team games. The end of the camp came soon. We crowned Jimmy as the new Xia Jian President. Still have the video.

Camp was out, and I went to Macs with Alex, Zhi Hui and Kenneth, discussing scandals and the like, arguing slightly about the new exco. Was glad to get home when I did, cuz I was really tired.

I'm kinda tired of writing this right now. As you can see my language has gone quite elementary. I'm just blogging about this right now cuz I'm pretty sure I'll forget large chunks of it in a few weeks time. And also since this is the third last ODAC activity for us. After this is the handing-over ceremony and then Farewell Night. Shit... better get my speakers and Pokemon cards out of the room before they take it.

Random Thoughts 8 (Memories and fears)

These few days of absolutely nothing to do have got me doing a lot of thinking and reminiscing. I suddenly found myself one evening sifting through my videos folder in search of the old videos from 3E1 and 4E1 and it started to bring back a lot of things, like how much of an idiot I was, and the friends I made there.

I've also started sifting through old chatlogs. I opened one of Alex's (yeah there's more than one for him) and the first convo listed was the one about my reality dating show blog entry last September and how he managed to more or less guess four or five out of the six bachelorettes, which is as high a score as anyone got.

And that got me reflecting on how my situation's changed. Most of them are almost forgotten. Indeed, I don't make as much effort as I should keeping up correspondence with people. But two of those bachelorettes have been weighing really heavily on my mind these few days. I feel like I'm in that secondary school fiasco again. I'm again starting to wonder if I was too obvious in that blog entry, and if those girls even know it yet.

Sometimes I wish I had more important problems bugging me, like an injured knee or an upcoming squash tourney or a big guitar performance. Why do some of my problems comprise of the ones that my overly imaginative mind makes for itself? Yeah I got some things bugging me down, like I'm still pissed at how my entire land ex proposal got thrown out of the window and that after all that work, not one scrap was going into the new one, and I'm still doing dirty work.

Sometimes I wish I had more real problems to drive all these mundane problems out of my head. I'm buggered down by things I shouldn't be fretting about, but I'm in denial about the big problems that worry everybody. Either that or my fears haven't been placed properly, I dunno.

And all this time to think's driving me crazy. When I get out, it's to go to school. Was supposed to watch X-Men with hopefully a few TC people, but now Mel's already seen it, and she was the only one who I knew for sure was game for it, I might just lock myself up in my room all day.

No wait, then Kim's constant mapling would drive me insane. I'm beginning to get sick of free disease again. I've grown sick of everything. Nothing interests me anymore, and nobody cares. Feeling really useless right now. Been feeling even more so ever since everyone in the room except Jul made me VP.

Feeling emo now. Need to think some more.