Random Thoughts 8 (Memories and fears)
These few days of absolutely nothing to do have got me doing a lot of thinking and reminiscing. I suddenly found myself one evening sifting through my videos folder in search of the old videos from 3E1 and 4E1 and it started to bring back a lot of things, like how much of an idiot I was, and the friends I made there.
I've also started sifting through old chatlogs. I opened one of Alex's (yeah there's more than one for him) and the first convo listed was the one about my reality dating show blog entry last September and how he managed to more or less guess four or five out of the six bachelorettes, which is as high a score as anyone got.
And that got me reflecting on how my situation's changed. Most of them are almost forgotten. Indeed, I don't make as much effort as I should keeping up correspondence with people. But two of those bachelorettes have been weighing really heavily on my mind these few days. I feel like I'm in that secondary school fiasco again. I'm again starting to wonder if I was too obvious in that blog entry, and if those girls even know it yet.
Sometimes I wish I had more important problems bugging me, like an injured knee or an upcoming squash tourney or a big guitar performance. Why do some of my problems comprise of the ones that my overly imaginative mind makes for itself? Yeah I got some things bugging me down, like I'm still pissed at how my entire land ex proposal got thrown out of the window and that after all that work, not one scrap was going into the new one, and I'm still doing dirty work.
Sometimes I wish I had more real problems to drive all these mundane problems out of my head. I'm buggered down by things I shouldn't be fretting about, but I'm in denial about the big problems that worry everybody. Either that or my fears haven't been placed properly, I dunno.
And all this time to think's driving me crazy. When I get out, it's to go to school. Was supposed to watch X-Men with hopefully a few TC people, but now Mel's already seen it, and she was the only one who I knew for sure was game for it, I might just lock myself up in my room all day.
No wait, then Kim's constant mapling would drive me insane. I'm beginning to get sick of free disease again. I've grown sick of everything. Nothing interests me anymore, and nobody cares. Feeling really useless right now. Been feeling even more so ever since everyone in the room except Jul made me VP.
Feeling emo now. Need to think some more.
I've also started sifting through old chatlogs. I opened one of Alex's (yeah there's more than one for him) and the first convo listed was the one about my reality dating show blog entry last September and how he managed to more or less guess four or five out of the six bachelorettes, which is as high a score as anyone got.
And that got me reflecting on how my situation's changed. Most of them are almost forgotten. Indeed, I don't make as much effort as I should keeping up correspondence with people. But two of those bachelorettes have been weighing really heavily on my mind these few days. I feel like I'm in that secondary school fiasco again. I'm again starting to wonder if I was too obvious in that blog entry, and if those girls even know it yet.
Sometimes I wish I had more important problems bugging me, like an injured knee or an upcoming squash tourney or a big guitar performance. Why do some of my problems comprise of the ones that my overly imaginative mind makes for itself? Yeah I got some things bugging me down, like I'm still pissed at how my entire land ex proposal got thrown out of the window and that after all that work, not one scrap was going into the new one, and I'm still doing dirty work.
Sometimes I wish I had more real problems to drive all these mundane problems out of my head. I'm buggered down by things I shouldn't be fretting about, but I'm in denial about the big problems that worry everybody. Either that or my fears haven't been placed properly, I dunno.
And all this time to think's driving me crazy. When I get out, it's to go to school. Was supposed to watch X-Men with hopefully a few TC people, but now Mel's already seen it, and she was the only one who I knew for sure was game for it, I might just lock myself up in my room all day.
No wait, then Kim's constant mapling would drive me insane. I'm beginning to get sick of free disease again. I've grown sick of everything. Nothing interests me anymore, and nobody cares. Feeling really useless right now. Been feeling even more so ever since everyone in the room except Jul made me VP.
Feeling emo now. Need to think some more.
posted by Russell Chander at 6:11 PM
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